Kisame is a SHARK!
by Summer Fun Kakashi
Summary: "You look like a fish," Itachi said suddenly, bluntly enough. Kisame was shocked by the quiet raven's sudden, surprising words. Yep, just keep talking Itachi-kun, you've already earned yourself a hard spanking from him, why not make it worse? Sarcasm, my dear readers. Spanking fic! xFinishedx


**Kelsey: Let's get the record straight, right off the bat, so I don't get my ass tanned like Itachi-kun... Kisame is a **_**shark**_**, not a fish; he is a big, manly, **_**strong**_**, blue, extremely scary shark that does **_**not**_** appreciate being insulted. And also another thing to mention, I don't believe the views of Itachi-kun in this mini-fic!**

**Itachi: Hn.**

**Kelsey: You're just butt hurt. Literally. **_**–Ba dum tss!-**_

**Kisame: -stern voice- Kelsey… Do not be rude to Itachi.**

**Kelsey: -shudders- H-Hai Kisame-sama…**

**Kisame: -smirks-**

**Itachi: Hn!**

**Kelsey: I want to thank my friend Jen, by the way. We were doing a role play, and one thing led to another, and suddenly Itachi was getting his ass beat by Kisame, because he insisted on calling Kisame a fish.**

**Kisame: I am not a fish. I am a shark.**

**Itachi: …Hn…**

**Kelsey: Right… anyways… I do not own Itachi-kun or Kisame-sama, or Naruto, for they belong to Masashi Kishimoto! If I did, though… Haha, then there would be yaoi and spanking galore.**

**Kisame: Hormonal little teenager…**

**Kelsey: -grins- Precisely! Let's get on with the story!**

**Kisame: Sorry Itachi!**

**Itachi: -sighs- Hn…**

_~Allons-y!~_

"You look like a fish," Itachi said suddenly, bluntly enough.

Kisame was shocked by the quiet raven's sudden, surprising words.

He wasn't sure if he had even heard him correctly.

"What was that, Itachi," Kisame asked.

Itachi looked up from his book once again with his infamous glare.

"I said you look like a fish," he repeated.

Kisame stared for a bit, starting to feel slightly angered.

"I'm a shark, Itachi. Not a fish."

"What's the difference," Itachi scoffed, flipping a page in his book.

"There's a big difference Itachi," Kisame growled.

"Not really, you both live in water, and have gills," he replied snottily.

Kisame turned to him, "What has gotten into you, Itachi Uchiha?"

Itachi looked back up, startled slightly from the sternness in his partner's voice.

"Nothing. I'm just stating facts," he quickly retorted.

"Well I don't like it," Kisame said, his voice dripping with acid, "Please refrain from insulting me."

"I'm not insulting you, _Kisame Hoshigaki,_" Itachi mocked, "I told you already, I am stating facts."

Kisame glared for once at his slightly younger partner, "Stop, right now."

Itachi glared for the umpteenth time at his slightly older partner, "You're not the boss of me, Kisame."

Something in Kisame snapped.

Probably sick and tired of the relentless emotional torture his partner gave him, he stood up and towered over the now seemingly small Uchiha.

Itachi gulped and looked up.

"…Yes?"

"I am sick of you treating me this way," Kisame snarled.

Itachi rolled his eyes, "Your point being?"

"My point being that you are acting like a little brat and it needs to stop," Kisame snapped.

Itachi glared up at him, "I already said you are not the boss of me, Kisame. I'm my own boss."

"Really Itachi," Kisame asked, getting pissed.

"Really," Itachi retorted.

"Okay, I am so done with this, stand up," Kisame said, a little too calmly if you ask me.

"Stand up," Itachi inquired.

"Stand up," Kisame said in a low tone.

Itachi Hn'ed and stood up, a good foot shorter than his partner.

Kisame folded his arms and stared him in the eye.

"Why are you being so disrespectful to me, Itachi?"

"I'm not. Just stating facts, Kisame," Itachi drawled.

Kisame had finally had enough, and he acted on impulse.

He sat down on the Uchiha's bed and grabbed him by the arm, pulling the smallish raven over his knee and trapping his legs with his own.

Before Itachi could even realize what was happening, Kisame already had his cloak off, and him pinned down, with one sleeve rolled up.

Itachi's face was momentarily smashed into the mattress, before he tried desperately to get off the shark Nin's lap.

"What do you think you're doing, Kisame," he shouted, squirming around.

"I think I'm showing a brat his place," he replied coolly, bringing his hand into the air and then smacking it down on Itachi's butt.

Itachi jumped, suddenly scared of his position.

"Kisame, can't we talk about this," Itachi quickly asked.

"No. I'm done speaking with you, now be quiet," Kisame said, smacking his hand down again.

Itachi winced, clutching the blanket tightly.

Kisame peppered Itachi's ass with short, quick swats as a warm-up.

Itachi squirmed slightly, but the poor weasel had no idea just how much pain was in store for him.

After a good five minutes of minor swatting, Kisame stood his partner up and gestured to his pants, "Drop them."

Itachi's face went beet red, "E-Excuse you!"

"I said drop them," Kisame repeated, his voice cold.

Itachi gulped and slowly started fumbling with the front of his pants and let them slide off before he was tugged back over his partner's lap.

Kisame held Itachi down with his free hand, and infused a bit of chakra into his other hand.

He swung it down, and Itachi stiffened at just the first spank.

Kisame continued smashing his palm down on the raven's poor little fanny, turning it a darker shade of pink.

He could tell he was really starting to get through when Itachi started squirming around again, trying to kick his legs.

"Does it hurt, Itachi?"

"Of course it hurts," Itachi snapped back.

"Hmph."

Kisame leaned over to the nightstand by Itachi's bed and grabbed his hairbrush.

"Maybe we need a new implement," Kisame said, infusing the slightest bit of chakra into it as well.

Itachi started freaking out, "Wait, Kisame, don't use my hairbrush!"

"It seems just my hand isn't getting through to you, Itachi," he said gently, bringing the brush up and crashing it down.

Itachi involuntarily let out a yelp before biting his lip.

The older man kept swinging down the wooden brush, making Itachi bite his lip even harder, blood starting to dribble down his chin.

"Don't bite your lip," Kisame advised while spanking him a bit harder, "It'll just cause more unnecessary pain."

"Hn," he replied, wincing with each swat.

Kisame sighed and put the brush down, having him stand up again.

"Take the boxers off," Kisame said.

Itachi glared, "No way in hell!"

Kisame glowered back, grabbing the hem of them and yanking them down, pulling him back over his knee once again.

Itachi thrashed around, "K-Kisame! Stop! You can't do this to me!"

"Oh on the contrary, I can, and I am," he replied, swatting his hand down on the weasel's bare flesh.

Itachi let out a sharp cry as his already stinging ass was swatted even harder with less protection.

"O-Ow, Kisame," he whimpered, thrashing around.

"Hold still, Itachi," he warned, sending his hand down a bit harder.

"G-Gah! K-Kisame! Stop," he cried, tears stinging his eyes.

"Am I finally getting through to you," Kisame asked gruffly.

"Y-Yes," he whimpered, tears falling from his onyx eyes.

"Good," his older, still somewhat angry partner replied, spanking his sit spots, undercurves, and thighs.

He let out a wail, bowing his head down and crying.

Kisame saw that his partner's fight had disappeared, so he laid out the final swats quickly.

Itachi lay over his lap, sniffling and wiping his tears away, before Kisame gently pulled him up and looked into his slightly red and watering eyes.

"Do you have anything to say for yourself, Itachi," Kisame asked.

Itachi's bottom lip stuck out and he let out a small whine before more tears fell from his face.

Instantly, he flung himself onto his partner in a hug, crying into his shoulder.

Kisame smirked a bit, wrapping his arms around him and rubbing his back.

"'Same," he wailed, "I'm s-sorry!"

Kisame hugged his friend tighter, smiling.

"Good, you should be," he said, pulling back a bit to look him in the eyes again.

"And we're not done here, 'Tachi," he said in a stern voice, and Itachi winced.

"W…What," he asked quietly.

"I want you to stand in the corner for half an hour," Kisame said, and Itachi let out a whine of protest.

"No arguing," Kisame said, "You were very disrespectful to me, Itachi. I'm not going to just let you off with a spanking."

His bottom lip quivered, "C…Can I have… just…"

He quickly threw his arms around the shark once again, and Kisame grinned.

"You never have to ask for a hug, Itachi-kun."

He snaked his arms back around his partner, rubbing his back and saying soothing things to him.

Itachi's cries reduced to sniffling, and he rubbed his eyes, letting out a shaky sigh.

"O…kay," he said, pulling back, and then pulling up his boxers.

He let out a sharp cry as it made contact with his skin, and he winced.

"'Same," he wailed, "It… h-hurts!"

Kisame gave his partner a slightly pitying look, "Sorry 'Tachi, but you deserved it. Now go stand in the corner."

Itachi whimpered, walking over across the room to stand in the only open corner they had, leaning his head on the wall and he started rub his sore ass.

"Itachi, no rubbing," Kisame snapped, and Itachi winced, letting his hands fall to his sides.

"Good boy," Kisame mused, standing up and stretching.

Kisame pulled out a book to read as the half hour passed.

Itachi kept shifting his weight uncomfortably, whimpering every so often, and sniffling slightly.

The time passed by rather quickly, and Kisame finished the last chapter of his book before turning his attention back to his naughty weasel and calling him over.

Itachi twitched and walked back over slowly.

Kisame sat on the edge of the bed and folded his arms, looking up at Itachi.

"Do you have anything you'd like to say for yourself, Itachi?"

He gulped, and nodded slowly.

"I'm… sorry I've been… so rude to you… Kisame… And I get it… you're not a fish."

Kisame grinned and pulled Itachi down to sit on his lap comfortably as possible, hugging him tightly.

Itachi groaned, but was secretly happy Kisame was no longer cross with him.

Itachi nuzzled his head into the older man's neck, dozing off, and Kisame held him, looking down, amused the he had fallen asleep so suddenly.

He smiled and set the raven face-down on the bed.

"Sleep well Itachi-kun," he chuckled, before going to find a new book.

_~Fin!~_

**Kelsey: That wasn't awful was it?**

**Kisame: Not really, I suppose.**

**Kelsey: Is Itachi still asleep?**

**Kisame: Yep, sleeping like a baby.**

**Kelsey: -squeals- So adorable!**

**Kisame: -eye roll-**

**Kelsey: -grins- Right, so I hope you all enjoyed this story. Have a good day! And remember… Kisame is a shark, not a fish. There is a very big difference. Right, Fishy-kun?**

**Kisame: -glare of death, and starts walking over to me-**

**Kelsey: Oh crap! –takes off running-**

**Kisame: -chases with an angry expression-**

**Itachi: -wakes up- …Hn… -glances at the audience- You sicko's… Oh well… Have a nice day.**


End file.
